Out of the Shitty & Into the Clean

It's no surprise that the word city rhymes with the word shitty. After all, the city as a wasteful, crowded, and pollutive entity, shits all over the environment. The word shitty thus could well be an alternative spelling for the word city. But I digress. As a wild entity the pollutive is not to be accommodated, least of all celebrated. It is, rather, to be avoided. Why? Because the shitty shits all over your body-mind-earth system, fills you full of waste (that which is extraneous and non-essential), and filthies you to the point where you develop a tough external carapace that prevents the real from penetrating. This means that you can't see properly, you can't hear properly, and you can't understand properly. Your vision is thus limited and distorted by the filthy contaminated windows that you look out of. The key to cleaning those windows is Nature. Nature renews and cleanses. This is Nature's essence and all who bathe in it are reborn as pristine, spotless entities. But Nature does not exist - cannot exist - within an ever-filthying environment. Nature rather, like the wild animals - the ravens, the woodpeckers, the deer et al., exists outside the city. So, if you live in the city you need to go collect it. And it is only by collecting Nature, by moving through and with Nature under your own steam, that you will ever cleanse yourself and get rid of that godawful carapace.

Be warned. Cleaning your windows may involve receiving the rain.

Ten Points a Pump

Ok, so maybe this is a little hairy to turn into a game, but they've turned you into game so go figure. I'm talking of getting cars to honk their horn at you not to signify their opinion on any political matter but due to you outflanking them and annoying them as a wild cyclist. This may mean skipping red lights when they do not, or just generally irritating them by taking up the whole lane (to prevent dangerous overtaking). Whatever the case, in the wild cycling game it's ten points a pump, and whoever gets a thousand points (on a single excursion) first is the winner.

Skipping Red Lights

As a wild cyclist I regularly skip red lights because I can see everything. In a car, not so, because you're in a car. Sometimes car drivers will get annoyed at this and honk their horn, or, like the waiting car driver shouted today, 'red light'. To this I simply smile and tell them that as soon as they stop defiling the Earth and their own bodies, and polluting the air my children breathe (I don't have any children but for the sake of argument), they can skip red lights too. Boy, you should see their faces.